The Catskill Chronicle

Story and photos by Carol Montana

When parents get divorced, it is often difficult for them to understand what their children are going through. As part of their continuously developing mission, The Dispute Resolution Center of Sullivan County (DRC-SC) is involved with a program called Parents Apart, which looks at the experience of divorce or separation “from the perspective of the children.”

Recently, Kathy Kreiter, Executive Director of DRC-SC, held an  informal luncheon meeting for an advisory community council. She explained the program and then asked for ideas on how the program can be funded and staffed.

The DRC-SC is an approved provider for Parents Apart, but like several other New York State programs, it’s an unfunded mandate.

Parents Apart is overseen by the Unified Court System of New York State, and is based on research created with input from surveys of parents who have experienced divorce or separation.

“In some states,” said Kreiter, “this program is mandatory before you can even file for divorce. In NYS, it’s not mandatory, but judges do have the discretion to mandate it, and they do. A lot of our referrals come from Family Court, but any judge can mandate or make a referral.”

The program consists of two three-hour sessions. Divorcing parents do not attend the same sessions. And the program may not be appropriate when domestic abuse is present.

Each attendee receives a Parent Handbook that includes topics like: What Parents Can Do to Help Their Children; Ways to Reduce Conflict; Legal Processes, and more. In addition, the handbook has an appendix that contains a Reading List, a section on Frequently Asked Questions, and a Bill of Rights for Children Whose Parents are Separating of Divorcing.

Classes are presented 10 times a year, explained Kreiter, and DRC-SC uses volunteer presenters. “It’s sometimes a fight to get qualified people when you’re going to them with your hat in your hand.” said Kreiter.

“Parents Apart teaches about communication. How they can interact with their kids, working with your ex, make it as tolerable as possible,” explained Kreiter. “But we don’t want a victim of domestic violence to think we’re telling them to cooperate with their abuser.”

So, after explaining the program and how it works, Kreiter asked the advisers for ideas on how to fund the program and attract volunteers.

Several ideas were tossed around. They involved partnering with like-minded organizations, putting together a consortium of organizations that do similar work to enable a collective funding opportunity, asking the local Retired Senior Volunteer Program for office assistance, contacting the local bar association to find out who might offer pro-bono services, and contacting local politicians to ask whether economic stimulus funds might be available. 

“I’m very passionate about Parents Apart,” said Kreiter, “But day-to-day, it’s difficult to present a program without money. Every time I present the class I learn something. It would just be great if we had some more support.”

The DRC is a registered non-profit entity and can accept monetary donations. The organization is also looking for volunteers who can help out with special events, office tasks, running a table at a special event, and several Communities that Care projects. “There’s a niche for anyone here who would like to help,” said Kreiter.

The Parents Apart program is open to residents of Sullivan County and surrounding counties. For more information about the program, go to New York State Unified Court System Parent Education site or call 794-3377, ext. 14, where you can also get information on volunteering or donating.