By Mort Malkin
Hosni Mubarak had waited too long to be imaginative in his last days as President of Egypt during the huge democratic demonstrations in Cairo, Suez, Alexandria, and towns down the Nile where papyrus is made. At first he tried to white out the rally in Tahrir (Liberation) Square by allowing Egyptian State TV to broadcast only soap operas and folk music (not songs of protest). When the Egyptian bloggers and foreign reporters started to tell the world the whole truth, the government shut down mobile phone service and internet access and detained Al Jazeera reporters. Then, the Pres sent in the goon squad on horseback and camel hump, armed with rocks and scimitars. The protesters responded with lumps of sugar for the horses and camels and Molotov cocktails for the thugs. The demonstrators overwhelmed them with sheer numbers. The Mubarak mercenaries soon vanished, and the demonstrators returned to peaceful protest.
Somewhere in the midst of trying to get the people to go back home, Mubarak said he’d reorganize the government, so he appointed Omar Suleiman to be Vice President, a position that had been empty for many years. The appointment was made with confidence — Suleiman was the Chief of Egyptian Intelligence (EGIS) and was known as the torture master, a man who might strike fear (respect) into the hearts of anyone who questioned the results of the last election in which Mubarak received 88.6% of the votes.
None of these strategies worked for Mubarak. The people demanded his immediate resignation. The demonstrations grew ever larger. By the 16th day, unofficial high level sources said that Mubarak would finally accede to the people’s demand that he step down immediately. So, on the 17th day the President commandeered the airwaves. He said the obligatory “God is Great” and that he loved Egypt and considered all Egyptians his children. He wanted an orderly transition when he left power in September and would brook no interference from foreign agitators.
In reply, the people in the streets took off their shoes and shook them in the air. Millions more people took to the streets in anger, and on the next day, Vice President Suleiman announced that Mubarak had really resigned and assigned the guidance of the nation to the Supreme Council of Armed Forces.
Something must have happened. Well, the Gadfly Revelry & Research team received some inside information that it was all about honor. In the first part of the negotiations, after which the military unofficially said Mubarak would leave immediately, Mubarak had agreed to leave under a couple of minor considerations. In the second part of their negotiations Mubarak suggested to the Supreme Council that he would retire immediately to the Valley of the Kings and begin building a modest pyramid befitting his 30 years of leadership, if they would provide just a few acres and assign him the honorary title of Pharaoh Hosni I. How could they refuse such a small request? After all, he had led the nation into the modern era of government-corporate corruption. Yet, they did refuse him, and to add further insult, the Swiss Government froze his bank accounts. The history is still unfolding. As the philosopher WC Fields noted: No good deed goes unpunished.
More on the Land of the Nile
Pharaoh the First,
his name Aha,
the city This, near
Abydos. There,
he prepares for
a ghostly season
of the Nile: First
Dynasty, then
Second, Third, and on
through twenty eight
centuries, till
pictograms give in
to alphabet
and books collect
at Alexandria.
The Catskill Chronicle 
Gadfly Replies
Dear Andreas,
Yes, Egypt was #2 and Libya is on the way to being #3. Gadhafi in Libya may hold out a little longer because he has billions in the bank and a reserve of black gold under the sand. So, he is hiring mercenaries for his elite police and has bought some high power lobbying from Big Oil in the person of Conoco Philips, Hess, and Marathon Oil as well as from such corporate giants as Halliburton, Dow, and Boeing. He has the further advantage of sociopathy and other assorted lunacies — witness his recent speech in Tripoli in which he blamed the “disorder” in the streets on Italian imperialists, Osama bin Laden, and the young who have been fed hallucinogenic drugs. He urged his loyal citizens who love him to dance, sing, and be happy. Led by defections of some army units and ambassadors; diplomats who have declared themselves with the people, the international community is slowly changing from abhorring violence to (re)establishing sanctions and freezing a few of Gadhafi’s billions in Switzerland.
Meanwhile, Bahrain [where the US Sixth Fleet is stationed] and Yemen [where Al Qaeda has a base] are in serious protest. Yet, we hear little about these monarchies in the US press. Poor President Obama has to protect American capitalist interests and would prefer stability to democracy. But if he has to bring the Sixth Fleet home it can be kept busy protecting Florida from Cuba and the Gulf states from British Petroleum.
Next, we should talk about Saudi Arabia. Are we seeing the beginning of a new world order … and finally democracy? When all these regimes fall, the oil has no political agenda and will be available, but with a fair division of the profits. The same principles of democracy and fair earnings may have to be applied to Wisconsin, lest the cheese makers of America go on strike in support of the public service employees, and then there will be a serious shortage of cheese for pizza?
Peace and parody,
Mort Malkin
And now it looks as if Mubarak is only the second in a row. I am looking forward to reading your column about Gadhafi and his cronies and who knows who might come after him. The North African countries have the opportunity to build a model, maybe even a role model that differs from the misguided one Iran is using. Gandhi and Martin Luther King can be proven right after all, although some die hards want to make us believe that the seeds were planted by George W Bush.