The Catskill Chronicle

By Mort Malkin

The US first went into Afghanistan long ago, early in the Cheney-Bush occupation of the White House, to capture Osama bin Laden and deprive Al Qaeda of terrorist training camps. Remember the bravado: “Dead or Alive”? We were equal opportunity hunters and gatherers — both hunting Al Qaeda and the Taliban and gathering suspects to imprison in Bagram and Guantanamo.

As we loosed the bullets and bombs and missiles and DU-tipped shells, the Taliban vanished back into their villages and Al Qaeda hid out in the Tora Bora caves near the Pakistan border. The Taliban were native Afghans and simply became a part of the local population. The Al Qaeda Arabs were tracked to Tora Bora and, with the help of northern warlords, were encircled. Osama bin Laden, that wily Arabian, escaped the surroundment by riding a mule across the the border to Pakistan. The mule, of course, had been sired by a thoroughbred donkey. As bin Laden had the only cell phone, Al Qaeda followed him on foot to safe haven out of reach of the US helicopters and F16s. As world citizens, many scattered west to Yemen, Somalia, Libya, and more than a few back home to Saudi Arabia. If logic prevailed, we would have left Afghanistan the day after bin Laden escaped to Pakistan (our ally). Afghanistan has no major oil reserves — are we staying there for the opium?

It is, however, more than logic that says “Leave now.” The US military has killed, injured, or imprisoned so many thousands of civilians that most Afghan families have suffered one or more of the above. Of late, the air strikes have been so patently careless that General Petraeus, himself, apologized to the families of victims. Nor have the air strikes been few and far between. In Eastern Afghanistan, nine boys gathering firewood were bombed, all of them killed. Could the pilots have mistaken sticks of firewood for ground-to-air missile launchers? In the town of Azizabad, 80 people were killed in a bombing raid, as reported by the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission. Wedding parties  at various locations have been bombed: 47 died at Nangahar, 27 near Kandahar, uncounted numbers at others — it’s so hard to tell a wedding party from “bad guys.” Other groups were equally suspicious. Villagers from the countryside in the district of Bala Baluk had fled to the village of Gerani to escape fighting between the Taliban and the Afghan Army. US warplanes bombed that conspiracy of children, women, and elderly men, killing 140. In the border area of North Waziristan, a drone attack was called in on a Jirga, a meeting of elders, killing 40. They may have been thinking of holding talks with the Taliban.

Another principal reason to leave Afghanistan is the corruption of practically every government and quasi-government agency— from provincial police chiefs to the Attorney General’s Office to the directors of major banks. President Karzai’s brother Mahmoud and his half brother Ahmed Wali are part of that economy. It’s a way of life, perhaps a tradition. Afghans say they are only following the US model of doing business. The US would never tolerate payoffs, bribes, and corruption. Rather, we call it: brokers’ fees, turnpike tolls, licensing fees, security services, finders’ fees, late fees, overdraft fees … not to mention lobbying and campaign contributions.

The Afghan economy is simpler. Its GDP — about $15 billion — has two wellsprings: NATO (US) reconstruction funding and the poppy crop. The reconstruction dollars do not go to Afghan companies that hire Afghan workers to build schools and hospitals and water treatment plants. The majority of the reconstruction money goes to American companies (contractors) which then spend a little on bribes (fees), a little for protection (security), a little for the projects, and the rest as corporate income. Of course, of the US supplemental budget devoted to Afghanistan, the portion devoted to civilian projects is tiny compared to military outlays. But, first we have to assure security and stability with helicopter gunships and A10s & F15s. We also have to train the Afghan Army. What does it matter that Afghans were able to drive out over 100,000 troops of the vaunted Red Army?

Or is it that the the reverse is true, that Afghans are training US Special Forces in guerilla warfare on their rugged terrain to prepare the Americans  for Iran? Oh, let’s not think of invading Iran. Iran may have a similar landscape to that of Afghanistan, but it also has a navy that could go after oil tankers from Kuwait, the Emirates, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia, and an air force that includes magic flying carpets that can fly circles around F16s.

So, if invading Iran is out of the question, if Afghanistan is corrupt beyond change, if our bombing campaign is at risk of being proven a war crime — why not just leave Afghanistan? The Gadfly Revelry & Research team did the numbers and came up with a logical way out. As with the American war in Vietnam in the 60s and early 70s, it is a matter of money. The total GDP of Afghanistan is about $15 billion. The US spends well over $100 billion each year in troops, bombs, and fuel (between $25 and $400 per gallon). Let’s just bring home all the troops, tanks, and planes, turn Bagram prison into a soccer training camp, and use a couple of years’ worth of military money to create a unique capitalist-socialist economy that would be the envy of the Western world. We could buy up the entire poppy crop and fund the growing of broccoli and butternut squash. The Afghans could establish ranches to breed and train the world’s finest horses — that would be in keeping with their 5,000 year heritage of being the first culture of the ancient world to use horses for transportation. In the north, precious stones such as ruby, emerald, aquamarine, and tourmaline can be found — a lapidary industry would be a natural. In the south, and east and west, Afghanistan can establish world leadership in pomegranates.

After Afghanistan, just think what we could do in Burkina Faso and West Virginia.