The Catskill Chronicle

Twice Divorced – By Grayce Goin

Dear Twice Divorced,

Each year the holidays get harder and harder. What with the children no longer close and living far away, and no other family near, I wonder sometimes what is the point in decorating at all.

My middle sister passed away when she was nine – over 40 years ago. But this year, as it has in the past, Thanksgiving takes place on her birthday, making it an even more difficult holiday than usual on which to be alone.

I wonder how many other people feel sad at holiday time, and if there are some words of encouragement you might have for me and others.

Happy? Turkey Day

Dear Happy?

This has been a particularly difficult letter for me to address as I lost a very dear sister a few years ago, and I still haven’t quite figured out how life is supposed to have any semblance of normal without her unflinching support and absurdly contagious laughter. I would guess that about half of the people I speak with at this time year suffer from some form of holiday blues. This covers everything from dreading the crowds at the stores to becoming physically ill at the very thought of dealing with the holidays.

The reasons for this holiday miasma are many and, quite frankly, don’t matter all that much when you are suffering. What does matter is how you deal with the situation. After much research and due consideration, this “Scroogina” has decided it best to let the experts address this issue. Thus, the following links:

http://www.webmd.com/depression/holiday-depression-8/boost-mood-tips

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/grief-and-finding-holiday-joy

http://www.depression-guide.com/depression-holidays.htm

http://www.medicinenet.com/holiday_depression_and_stress/article.htm

First thing this morning, after a very poor night of sleep, I was looking in the mirror at the wrinkles and bags under the eyes…thoughts ranging incoherently from work to the holidays to loved ones gone and soon to be faced…I heard my sister’s laughter and her telling me I had dealt with worse, and that I would get past this too. And I will, remembering the terrific people who, while gone, have loved me and those still here who do.

My only advice is this: Remember the joy, the love, the support, and even the disappointments shared – our loved ones are only gone from our line of sight; they are part and parcel of who we have become, and can never truly leave us.

Be well

Letters can be sent to deartwice@yahoo.com or Catskill.Chronicle@yahoo.com. Be sure to put Twice Divorced in the Subject line.

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