The Catskill Chronicle

Twice Divorced By Grayce Goin

Dear Twice Divorced,

I recently started a new job after several months of being unemployed. I am in the marketing department of a major auto manufacturer in the midwest.

The problem is that my coworkers are among the most unfriendliest people I have ever encountered.

No one says “good morning” or “have a good weekend” or even “I hate you.” Just today I tried making a joke about something, and no one even acknowledged that I had spoken.

There is a continuous knot in my stomach and on Sunday afternoons, I start to get really depressed just thinking about having to go to work on Monday morning. It’s getting so I don’t even enjoy the weekend anymore. And I know my wife and children are getting worried about me.

I’ve tried being friendly, I’ve tried everything I can think of, but it’s really getting to me and I don’t know what to do. Being a naturally friendly type of guy, this has really knocked me for a loop.

Please give me some advice. I really need this job but I don’t want to make myself sick over it either.

Thank you,

Weeping in the Midwest

Dear Weeping,

The first thing you need to appreciate is that their rude behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you. 

Maybe one of their own wanted the job or the in the past there has been a revolving door attached to the position and they want to wait and see whether or not you last before becoming friendly. 

Maybe your predecessor was a friend who they feel was unjustly fired.

Of course, these are all rationalizations and by no means justification of their behavior.

Given time a relatively rational adult will realize their stupidity and come around. In the meantime, just continue saying “good morning” or “have a nice weekend” or whatever the circumstances call for and do it in such a way as to show you have no expectation of a response.

When I was freshly “once divorced,” I did temp work in NYC for a few years and came across people like that fairly often. When an assignment was one or two weeks long it didn’t really matter much but some ran several months and I found that people eventually came around, which was handy when I was offered permanent positions.

As difficult as it is to find jobs these days, you should not even consider starting another job search at this point. Keep in mind, always, that you are not the cause of their behavior and having a regular paycheck certainly outweighs the benefits of office chit chat.

So, continue providing the office courtesies, excel at your position, and

Be Well