The Catskill Chronicle

Twice Divorced – By Grayce Goin

Dear Twice Divorced,

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child … No, really. Sunday was my mother’s birthday. I am 5 years older now than she was when she died. She has been dead 36 years now, so you would think I would get over it already. Truth is most days I am fine. But sometimes, out of the middle of nowhere I am still overwhelmed with grief.

I never really knew my mother. She was complex to say the least, an alcoholic, a paranoid-schizophrenic, a genius. A survivor of Dachau … the horrors never really left her, and she passed them on to me. I remember being glad when she died because she was no longer in pain, and because she would not be passing the horrors down to her grandchildren.

I’m not really writing this letter because I need any advice. I learned to deal with my grief and my confusion long ago. But, this past Sunday made me think that there might be others out there, children of survivors of Nazi internment camps who could use your wisdom and your kind words to help them through the days. Thanks.

A Motherless Child

Dear Child,

While I appreciate your generous assessment of my abilities, I must confess to feeling inadequate to the task that you have chosen for me. In all honesty, I believe that you are far more qualified to address the children of Holocaust survivors than I could ever hope to be.

The paths to dealing with grief and confusion are many and, by their very nature, must be ascertained by each individual. And while help is available for this process I am not the person to provide that assistance.

I admire your ability to not only surpass the myriad obstacles laid in your path but also be so considerate of others who have faced the same impediments and may continue to struggle.

Like you, I occasionally find myself overwhelmed and crying about a loss that I had considered myself to be over. Normally when I think of either my father or my sister, both of whom have passed, I smile if not laugh out loud – what a pair of characters they were.

However once in a while I will come across some oddity that would have been so apropos of one or the other of them, the tears start even before the thought process makes the connection on a conscious level. At these times what has worked for me is to just be – go with the feeling – rather than move back into my “queen of suppression” mode. 

For those who are interested the following link contains Resources for Children of Holocaust Survivors http://www.judymeschel.com/coshpsych.htm.

Thank you for your letter, and

Be Well

Letters can be sent to deartwice@yahoo.com or Catskill.Chronicle@yahoo.com. Be sure to put Twice Divorced in the subject line.

To view all of the cartoons for Twice Divorced or to purchase prints visit the Chronicle on Zenfolio.